I'm not a hypochondriac

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

First off, it really bugs me when I have my next post all planned out, but then something riveting happens to me to disrupt my whole schedule.

Yesterday I read this article, about a Kentucky woman who delivered a surprise baby. I also happen to have a disease in which everytime I hear that someone else has some kind of illness, I develop all of the same symptoms within a day.

So today, after I inhaled my lunch my stomach started hurting really, really badly. Like, if it doesn't stop I'm going to the hospital badly. Like, oh my freaking goodness what if I'm going into labor without knowing I was pregnant, too, badly.

Luckily I realized I had just had my annual OB visit a month ago. Surely, if I was pregnant then, the doctor would have realized it. But then my stomach started hurting worse as I contemplated why we always hear these stories about women going into labor without knowing they were ever pregnant. Where are the stories about unsuspecting women going into the annual OB visit and finding out they were pregnant? Doesn't that happen? I do suppose that giving birth in your house, cutting the cord yourself, driving over to pick up your other child from school, and stopping in at your mom's to show off the baby on the way to the hospital is a bit more newsworthy, but whatever.

So then I realized that maybe I had only been pregnant for a month. That perhaps I was pregnant with an alien baby that was about to rip out of my stomach, like on the original V (except that my husband tells me that never happened, that I'm thinking of the wrong show, even though I distinctly remember having a hazy memory of a sweet baby girl twin with a snake tongue being born, unexpectedly followed by her green alien brother breaking through the mom's stomach). If this truly didn't happen, let me know so I can edit poor Timmy into looking like a vampire instead of an alien. Because I could change this story into thinking I was having a super short pregnancy like in The Twilight Saga.

I did survive my one hour hysterical pregnancy. In case you were wondering.

7 comments:

debi9kids March 11, 2010 at 1:30 AM  

Nope. You have it right. Chris is wrong. the kids and I watched the original series recently and sure enough, she gave birth to a second baby that crawled out of her body. Creepy.

Lisa March 11, 2010 at 9:22 AM  

Too bad it wasn't an alien baby, you could have been on "I didn't know I was pregnant" show.

Jayme March 11, 2010 at 11:58 AM  

I always think I have the stuff I read about too!

Mel's Box of Chocolates March 11, 2010 at 9:52 PM  

That happened((Supposedly)) to a teacher in my district. I saw her at a couple of Inservice and swore up and down she was pregnant however everybody told me it wasn't true. The girl even told people she was getting her feelings hurt because she was being accused of being pregnant. Well lo and behold she starts having horrible pains, thought it was some kind of gas problem, went to the hospital,and out popped a baby. I just don't get it. How do you not feel the thing kicking you?? Crazy. But glad you survived!!!

Megan March 12, 2010 at 10:22 PM  

My best friend watches "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" which is officially the worst show ever, because it convinces you that it's perfectly reasonable to somehow miss a 9 month pregnancy.

I don't necessarily believe that.

But the show gives good arguments.

And thus the paranoia sets in.

Kay | UPrinting March 15, 2010 at 8:35 PM  

I have a friend that experienced the same incident she didn't know that she's pregnant, she's really sad because she was not able to prepare a name for her daughter.

Evolving Mommy Catherine March 21, 2010 at 5:57 PM  

The idea of giving birth to a baby girl with a snake tongue is enough to freak me out without the added bonus of a possible green alien twin brother. Yikes. If I didn't want to have another baby before this story I definitely don't want to have another now! ;)

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