Why I have smoke coming out of my ears

Friday, September 24, 2010

It's happened before. One of those days that everything that can go wrong WILL.It started shortly after I woke up this morning. I was finishing up picking up Katie's bedroom for today's house cleaning. My husband mumbled as he rushed past me down the steps on his way to the couch, "I have to lay down just a little bit longer. I'm so tired, but Katie peed all over the bed." Not such a big deal, you'd think, since most kids her age have mattress protectors, as does she. Except we had guests last night. So in order to clear out the guest room, which is usually inhabited by Sir Snoresalot, I slept in Katie's bed and she slept in the master bedroom with my husband. Have I mentioned that she's only ever peed the bed like 3 times before in her entire life?!?!?!? So I replied, well did you get her up? Of course not. She was soaked, the bed was soaked. I started the cleanup process, berated my husband, and zoomed out of the house to my early meeting.

As I got back to my desk from the morning meeting, I noticed an e-mail from our housecleaning company. "The dogs are running loose in the house. What should we do?" It was from 1 hr prior. I responded they could be let out back...hoping they could still get there to clean and we didn't have to go another 2 weeks living in filth. I e-mailed Chris to bitch, just a day after he left Katie's backpack (containing her homework) at home. He mentioned how bad HIS morning was. Including the fact that he got pulled over for having a brake light out, only to realize he didn't have his wallet with him.

I picked up the kids from daycare, which days later still puts me in a bad mood - ever since the new daycare provider told me, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," after I stood by one of my parenting decisions. One that is none.of.her.freaking.business.

I got home to a clean house (thankyou God), only to have my cherubs break in to a box of donuts while I was checking our voicemail. Chocolate donuts that then got ground in ALL OVER our newly cleaned kitchen floor.

I opened the mail, excited to finally receive my Jamaica vacation documents. The vacation that I'm already pissed about since I found out the resort I booked at will be closed for renovations and we've been "upgraded" to a different resort. One lacking the huge waterpark we were looking forward to. The one that I couldn't cancel since we had bought an "airfare included" package. Which included nonrefundable airfare. The one that as I opened the mail today, found out that they only booked THREE airline seats for my family of FOUR. Something about Timmy being under two...which didn't even cross.my.mind when I entrusted them to create my dream vacation.

The dogs were in the back yard, barking INCESSANTLY. As I was outside summarily flipping my lid on them, my neighbor mentioned, "Oh, they were out running ALL over the neighborhood today. I let them back in the house for you." Really? Someone used our gate and didn't think it might be a (insert the fact that Timmy just came in to visit and SHUT DOWN my computer). Sorry. What I meant to say was that is it so hard to close a gate at a home where you know DOGS LIVE? This is not a new problem at our house.

So, I finally, after much screaming and silent prayer, managed to get the barking idots back in the house. Tracking mud. Everywhere. Why mud? The yard is dry. Oh, cause Katie was just out at the water table and tracked in water, which was then crossed over by the dirt pawed canines.

So I came up to the office to vent. The children were left to scream Mommy! watch Spongebob.

There's a large puddle of water on my pergo downstairs a la Katie's abandoned cup of water that was commandeered by her brother.

Timmy just pulled apart a lei in the office and I silently celebrated knowing that it would keep him busy for one more minute.

And there goes all the papers off my desk....

And yes asshole, I DO have my period!!!


Yo, ho!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Don't be offended. If I happen to call you a ho or more likely, "hooker," it means I have the utmost love and respect for you. Just one of those little nuances in life. 

After college, I had the pleasure of living with my childhood friend C for three years. She was and is a very good girl. No drinking, no swearing, no funny business with the boys. And so, of course, our pet term for each other is "hooker." 

It still amazes me how, through life, we continue to meet new people who become near and dear to our hearts. Like a mother with a new child, my heart's openness to new friends is boundless. And I've been so lucky. Beyond my family, beyond my childhood and college friends, beyond my bloggy friends, I genuinely appreciate my mommy friends. Those friends that could be casual acquaintances or new BFF's, but for a conversation. 

With 18 month olds running around and trying to jump their way off equipment and into the ER (mine never actually hurt herself, but oh how she tried),  passing balls and balloons to one another, running side by side to pop bubbles. We met in preschool gymnastics. Casual smiles turned into conversation. The propensity for my daughter and one other particular little boy to be clumsy, wreckless, insane and crazy drew me and his mother to one another to simutaneously shake our heads, roll our eyes, and commiserate. Then there were a few others who were not afraid for their lives when around our two kids, and we started to meet at McDonald's or Friendly's before or after class. Then we started having playdates. And then girl's nights. And then, my generous friend M, suggested a few of us use her Vacation Club for a mommy getaway to DisneyWorld. It happened to be the same weekend as BlogHer '10, for which I already had a ticket and hotel room. And I'm sorry, my bloggy friends, for skipping out on meeting so many of you - but I just couldn't pass up a trip with these girls and our 5 year olds. These ladies who represent everything I value in a friend - honesty, reliability, compassion, generousity and fun. And our kids love each other like siblings.

And our trip WAS magical.

Katie actually wore her fabulous new outfits from 77kids. (In hindsite, I realize many readers may not realize why that is such a big deal, but suffice it to say that we have had SIGNIFICANT issues with Katie this summer regarding clothes. For weeks at a time, I washed the same outfit every night, to be worn every day. To my utter depression and turmoil as I fingered all of the lovely, unworn clothes in her closet.)

And she was so proud to pose in her new grunge, as we traveled over to a kids only Pirate Cruise at the Grand Floridian.

She even accepted a $10 souvenir bribe to wear one of my most favoritest Hanna Andersson sundress sets that she had never worn.

We treasured every moment of our trip.

We even happened to overlap our trip with my sister's family and had the ultimate experience of going on a Kim Possible mission with them in Epcot.

We swam and played.

The kids were thrilled to build their own cars at Downtown Disney.

And I got an amazing long weekend getaway with my girls, most notably my favorite girl.

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