Saturday, October 31, 2009
Doesn't every kid have two costumes?
(This being the other one.)
Come back this evening (or tomorrow if I'm too tired) to check out Dr. Katie and Supergirl!
It's been a long time since I went on an interview. In my last few years of employment, I had become much more accustomed to actually being the interviewer.So last night I mentally prepared for today's interview. Instead of counting sheep I thought up the Top 10 answers I probably shouldn't give when asked the infamous "What do you consider to be your biggest weakness?"
1. I’m frequently late.
2. I don’t drink enough water.
4. I get sick a lot.
5. I’m generally a very tired person.
6. I am easily frustrated by stupid people.
7. I’m pretty sarcastic.
8. I tend to be passive aggressive at times.
9. I spend too much time on Facebook, Twitter, and blogging.
10.My kids get sick a lot.
And what answer did I wind up giving? Would you believe they didn't even ask me this question? But if you are hiring and would like to give me a call, I would be more than happy to discuss it with you. My answer will knock your socks off and I guarantee that you'll want to hire me on the spot.
Being a "Scary Mommy" doesn't really seem like a title to be vied for. Nevertheless, "the" ScaryMommy is holding a contest to find another blogger that best personifies her idea of what a Scary Mommy is. And guess what: if you're a mom and you don't think you fit the role of Scary Mommy I think you're either a liar, in serious denial, or a tv character.
I thought long and hard about this post and decided that the best way to share how I am a Scary Mommy is simply to share a day in the life of JulieBouf. I’ve decided not to embellish any facts in order to be more humorous since that could possibly land me a visit from DCS.
I’ll begin sharing my day from about 11am since my parenting prior to that point isn’t really fit to be read. While Timmy was still asleep for his morning nap I got myself up from my morning nap and showered. I really didn’t have a choice. It had been a day…or two and I was going to be out in public later in the day. Don’t worry about Katie. She was watching a movie while I rested with my door open. If you can consider laying in bed while being visited every 5-10 minutes to be resting.
The first trip for the day was to the public library. Timmy napped a little too long (this ONLY happens when we have to go somewhere) and we didn’t really have time to go and get back before Katie’s afternoon pre-K school bus would arrive. But I really needed a specific book. I had just finished the first Vampire Diaries book (possibly why I was so tired that morning) and when I went to read the second I realized I had borrowed the wrong series. Now when we were there last week, I hadn’t scanned any of Katie’s choices and she wound up coming home with a book about divorce that was her “most favorite book ever” and had to be read by both mommy during the day and daddy at night. So as not to make the same mistake, I reviewed her choices and was the meanest mom ever to make her put back “Saying Goodbye to Daddy” and “It’s Just Mommy and Me Again” (incidentally one of those was from the author of “Why Does Daddy Drink So Much?”As we switched aisles in hopes of finding more appropriate choices, Timmy started ripping books off the shelf from his stroller and I had to wrestle him to put back “Saturdays With Daddy.” Let me remind you again, I am not exaggerating or making anything up. I really hope this isn’t a sign. We gathered our final choices and checked out. My book wasn’t even available and I wound up driving Katie into school 10 minutes late.
I really don’t have any problems with the kids watching tv or Katie playing on the computer, but it was an absolutely beautiful day outside, the first in over a week. So after Katie got home from school the three of us went for a walk. When we got home I even pushed both kids on the swings. But then I got tired and convinced Katie to push her brother for awhile (so that I didn’t have to keep pushing her 50lb dead weight.) I also convinced her that watching her go down the slide was the highlight of my day.
Later in the day she told me her “heart hurt. Or no, maybe it was her belly.” I gave her some more cough medicine and packed the kids up for Katie’s dance/gymnastics class. I got us all McDonald’s for dinner on the way there. Katie’s no longer allowed to have French fries in the car due to a recent trash excavation from my car, but I do let her eat her nuggets. They were hot though so she put them on the seat between her and Timmy to cool off. Only he grabbed the whole box and she couldn’t reach them back from him and I had to listen to her scream and cry the rest of the car ride while handing her some of mine to hold her over until we arrived and I could get her box from Timmy. Only he ate 4 of the 6 nuggets in the 10 minutes it took us to get there. So, she got more of mine and I filled myself up on my 6th diet soda of the day.
On the way home Katie asked me “How much longer?” I said “Till what, we get home?” I suppose I should have known that not being able to read her mind would cause an explosion. We went back and forth with “No! HOW.MUCH.LONGER?” and I replied, “TILL.WHAT? We will be home in 2 minutes if that’s what you want to know.” And then from Katie, “NOOOOOOOOO. I SAAAIIIDDDD – how much longer?” Thankfully after a few more rounds we arrived home and I sent her in to watch tv and ask daddy for a piece of candy.
I wouldn’t really consider this day to be a bad day by any means. No. THIS was a bad day. This was just a day in the life. I don’t always react the way I would like to. My kids don’t always behave the way I would like. My house is definitely not as clean as I would like.
I have put off writing this post since this weekend out of the sheer exhaustion I’ve felt every single night. I used to think it was just me, but the blogger company I keep has led me to believe I am not alone in feeling motherhood is like a serious case of mono that just can't be overcome. I say that with the utmost love and devotion for my 2 cherubs. And while I was led to believe that I might get more favorable treatment in this contest for locking my kids in the play area downstairs while I take the time to write this entry, I did not. I waited until they were both fast asleep - baby passed out on breast milk
and LOTS of Pizza Hut and the 4-year old passed out on Pizza Hut bread sticks and chocolate dunkaroos.
I am convinced that the 50's-era portrait of motherhood was contrived by the same people that brought us Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. Houses could not have always been that neat, food always cooked from scratch, and children always well-behaved. Or maybe there was just a fantastic underground drug ring supplying those moms with the extra little oomph that they needed.
PS. Check out my link to ScaryMommy's post to see what she considers a Scary Mommy to be and then leave a comment on my blog supporting my claim. Help me win a video camera! That means YOU family/friend stalkers who visit and never leave comments. Just sign in as "Anonymous" if you want or choose the Name/URL option and you can simply type in your first name. There is nothing to sign in/sign up for.
That's how long it will take us to eat all the Bigos I made. Bigos, you ask? Well, I had never heard of it either until I came upon this captivating post by Pauline at Classy Chaos. I adore Pauline and even though she makes it sound like a dirty thing to feed your kids pizza, I still respect her. Chris and I enjoy ethnic foods. And we love pork. And sauerkraut. We LOVE sauerkraut. So with her endorsement and direction along with my full-fledge excitement over all that pork and sauerkraut, I set out. To make my own Bigos. I hastily wrote out the ingredients and intructions on paper and put them aside to shop in the afternoon, at about 4pm, when Katie would get home from school.
It was pretty yummy!
I chose to add cherry tomatoes and mushrooms. It was a good thing since the mushrooms served an important role of disguising the mushy rubbery bacon as a possible mushroom. The crunchy sauerkraut disguised any bone crunch of the sausage. Chris loved it! Timmy loved his meal of leftovers the following day. I know enough to not even attempt offering it to Katie. The texture hodgepodge would be her mental undoing.
We have been eating leftovers for days now. Or rather, I should say that Chris has. Although I did quite enjoy it for dinner that first night, I can't let go of my flashbacks of eating the smoked sausage on it's own. I've actually had a nightmare about it, so I can't bring myself to eat any of the leftovers. Since Chris and Timmy enjoyed it so much I may try it again in the future. Maybe with kielbasa instead of the cow heart-free smoked sausage. I may fry up the bacon a little first, too. I think I'll use a bit more dried plums. Oh, and maybe not rinse off the sauerkraut. I missed it's yummy sour taste.
I'm really not too sure how this baby manages to get cuter and funnier every single month, but I swear he does. He thinks he's hilarious when he puts his soft balls in his mouth and crawls over to show me. He must be acknowledged, giggling the whole way over and erupting into fits of laughter when I tell him he's not a doggy. He loves to be tickled. His laughter melts away any frustration or fatigue I may be feeling.
1) Look at her poor hand-me-down t-shirt. Doesn't this girl deserve to win some new clothes? (ahem...no comments from the peanut gallery concerning the fact that she has more clothes than she could ever possibly wear)
2) It would create very interesting fireworks to force Katie into a certain hairdo and outfit for a winning photo shoot. I've read the fine print and the rules do NOT state that the child has to be cooperative. Boy would they be in for a suprise!
3) Amazingly, as horribly as I feel any planned photo shoot has gone with Katie (ie. at a portrait studio) we do always wind up with at least a few fantastic shots. They should be so lucky as to have her in their ads.
1) Timmy should win to prove to the modeling community that it is not nice to discriminate against large-eared babies. They deserve their day to be in print, too. Perhaps, if nothing else, the current president can set a trend to bring Dumbo ears back into fashion.
2) He is a ray of sunshine. He would be all smiles for a photo shoot and full of personality. Keeping his thumb out of his mouth and his hand off of his ear may be a problem, but I'm sure if I dangled a donut in front of him he'd be fine.
3) He fits in baby clothes. Although Katie fits the age criteria for "Baby Girl" she won't fit in any clothes smaller than a size 6. That could present a problem.
*Yes, it will make you "register" to vote, but you will get a 20% off coupon (I think) as a thank-you
*If clicking the link above and then entering the ID is too much work for you, but you are willing to register and vote, let me know and I'll send you an e-mail with a direct link to vote for them.
*# of votes does not ensure that they will win, but those with the highest votes will get a second look from the judges.
*Don't even THINK about entering your kid instead of voting for mine. I asked first!
Katie and I have come to a sort of compromise. I
threaten to throw out all her barbies let her pick out her own clothes each day with only appropriate seasonal restrictions (like no shorts when it's too cold) and she tries her hardest to give me heart palpitations...with a smile.
She works very hard to match appropriately and despite
lots of tears and pleading gentle advice from me she is convinced that "matching" means wearing varying shades of the same color. My tutorial on picking out accent colors fell on deaf ears today.
I'm probably the biggest fan of the color green in the entire world and even I feel like I need medication to look at this outfit without wincing.
When driving, stay on the road!
Katie tells me that is the title of her newest piece of bathroom art.
(Yes, it's bath crayon.)